A RAPTURE RIGHT CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

This year we anticipate the same old boring Christmas.

Presents, family and friends, tons of great food and treats, music and games, boring, boring, BORING!!! How in the hell are we Christians supposed to enjoy this holiday when there is so much crap going on in this world? Pollution, wars, disease, economic collapse, child rape, baby rape, retard rape and of course just plain old fashion rape-rape.

The only thing that could save us this Christmas-from having to think about all this negative nonsense-would be the Rapture.

We have asked God to give us this one special Christmas gift, each year for the past 13 years. We still haven’t gotten it and we’re sure this year will be no different. Why won’t God just take us away from this pain and suffering? Why won’t he use his magic to burn away all the Atheists and non-believers and take his beloved children back to heaven?

We needed to express ourselves passionately this year, to God, in hopes that he would hear our cries for help and bring about a real Christmas miracle. Each year we wake up on Christmas morning with our bags packed in anticipation to be swept away up to heaven. And each year we are disappointed. We wrote this song to relieve some tension. Below are the lyrics and the video, please share it with your Christian friends and family. Maybe if enough of you pray with us, God might hear one of our rapture prayers and finally destroy the earth (hopefully on Christmas day!).

p.s.
if anyone has a “Prayer Accelerator” could we borrow it for a couple of hours? Those things are expensive and we think it would really help in getting this all important “Rapture Prayer” directly to God.

A RAPTURE RIGHT CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

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Every year I get what I want
except the thing I really want
it’s nice to know they spent a lot
but a little more might give me what I haven’t got

I pray for the same thing every year (the rapture)
by Christmas dinner I’m in tears

I just want the non-believers to burn away

This Christmas I want the Rapture
I want to have nog with God, the Rapture
sit around the yule-time log, the Rapture
we’ll sing while the sinners get judged, the Rapture

I just want to watch the whole world burn
I’ve been good all year now it’s my turn
I followed the Lord’s word to a T
why isn’t Armageddon underneath my tree?

Why is it taking so damn long?
the longer we’re here the more things go wrong
polar ice caps melt away
you can’t eat fish cause it’s poisony
pollution, war and disease
Lord can’t you see I’m on my knees

I just want the pain to go away

This Christmas give us the Rapture
come and take your children home, the rapture
do I need a better phone, the Rapture
it’s getting pretty bad down here, the Rapture

Are my prayers getting through to you loud and clear?
cause I’ve been good all year
I should be happy, but I’m in tears
I can’t take this planet another year

This earth I’ve had enough, I haven’t any love
cause all I see is pain, extinction, acid rain
greed and poverty, naive passivity
ignorance and war, I can’t take earth anymore

They celebrate the birth of Christ, they buy more merchandise
and how is that ok? they don’t see the irony
Christ was happy poor, these Christians want more, more, more…….