I think i can speak for every Christian out there when i say “When will racism end?!”.
It’s just getting to the point now, where i think it will only go away after the Rapture. Jesus will return and take all of the Christians home, leaving in his wake a world without hope. It’s a world without hope because the only ones left will be Atheists and racists!
Here’s one way we can deal with racism while we wait for Jesus.
Racism is all about skin color (as far as i can gather, i’m not racist). Why does it matter if a person has dark skin or light skin? The only thing that really matters is if the person is a Christian and loves Jesus and God with all of their being. Even if that being is covered in dirty dark skin. Jesus can cleanse the dirtiest of the darks and because of this we propose a two step program for ridding the world of racism.
Step One- Get em some Jesus!
Most darks or colored up skinned people reside in third world countries. In these drab and dreary lands, there is little food, little clean water and hardly any Christianity. Oh we Christians have tried to spread the word of salvation across our globe, but due to a lack of funding we have saved very few of these poor, filthy, diseased dark-skins.
So here’s what we do! We ask the Government to fund an international program, run by the Church, which will help get these people some water and stuff. When we get over to these third world countries, we only help the people after they have had a Bible study lesson. This way they get Jesus and a warm meal (nothing feels better in my tummy then soup and salvation!).
After we have given them the food they will be very grateful and they will learn quickly that Bible=Bread (much in the same a dog can be trained to fetch the morning paper in exchange for a jerky treat). Once they have this down, we’re halfway to ridding the world of racism for good!
Step Two- The Cleanse
Now that the people understand that Jesus died for them so they could have soup and bread and peanut-butter cookies, we can stop focusing on cleansing their souls and get to cleansing that dirty, racism inducing skin they got.
In these third world waste lands, there is nothing to really do. They don’t have functioning economies, they don’t have cool sports like football and golf and their idea of entertainment is drumming and chanting (can anyone say hippie alert?). All they really do well is multiply. They have children much in the same way goats defecate, leaving piles of stinky brown little pellets all over the place.
But now that they have found Jesus, we have to start baptizing these smelly little rug rats. As everyone knows a baptism is when someone is dipped in water by a priest or pastor, while a prayer is said cleansing them of their sins and transgressions. Well, think about this….if you add a little bleach (maybe a lot of bleach) into the water before baptizing these little squirts, you will lighten their skin while lighting up their hearts. Before long you’ll have third world countries that will be teaming with whites. And guess what you won’t have when that happens?….Racism!
If everyone is the same color, what can you be racist about?
These “bleach-isms” will be done respectfully and safely, so as not to harm our important international relations.
This is the cure Christians, now lets make it happen!
you say your not racist but you refer to black people as dark skins
????????????
you want to rid the world of blacks.????
are you in the kkk
You people make me sick. You say your so loving, and so fucking christian. And that racism is so wrong. But yet you call people with different skin colors “dirty”. And you say “They have children much in the same way goats defecate, leaving piles of stinky brown little pellets all over the place.” If there is a heaven and a decent god, you are taking the wrong approach on getting there. Go to hell. All of you
ok hitler God made everyone the way he did for a reason he made you retarded for a reason and your brother killed himself for a reason why would you wanna change Gods perfect plan everything happens for a reason turn to God man
thats gods way.
Which brand of bleach is Jesus-approved? I got me some people to cleanse!
hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha. are you serious? is this real? if it is you guys are too funny…
At our church we just get the cheaper store brand but we always bless it so it works real good. Its been real good at cleansing gays to excpet they always want the more expnsive brand names.
you guys are the worlds best example for abortion to stay legalised, dog forbid I’d have to listen to you more than once…
Does everyone not get that this whole web site is a joke????
this post is clever, a little over the top…
glad i found your site, i must say, it needs more traffic. i’ll mention it to people, k?
hmm, I watched your video about that whacko bill maher and at first I thought great. I’m glad these guys are trying to start a boycot of his garbage. That part was all good but before you preach to people you need to bone up on a few facts yourselves and present them in the way God would want them presented to people. For example saying Jesus is white. Hello! He was a jewish man from Nazereth. He wasn’t white. That is only in pics from paintings by people who thought at the time that was what he looked like. Read your bible a little better fella’s. Other than that I’m glad your boycotting the movie.
Wow. I can’t believe the people that still think you guys are being serious!!! I mean, I have to admit, you had me going in the Bill Maher video for awhile, but come on…This website is hilarious. Decoder cross?? “If everyone’s the same color, what is there to be racist about?” HA! It’s a JOKE, people. The best part, to me, are the actual Christians who write in supporting your boycott of the movie…hahahaa
i hope this website is a joke…i really really do
I’m a non-American living in the States and I was starting to despair at the TV slapstick humour that abounds here….and then I discovered you guys…this is wit and satire at its finest, kudos to you lads. I’ve no doubt it was god working in his typically mysterious ways that got you guys going! Ha! Well done…
Congrats on this website Bill…Bill Maher is SO VERY CLEVER to have set up this ridiculous marketing plan to sell his film. These guys are hilarious, they are more realistically stupid than Borat. This is so funny, these guys are the best advertisement for atheism that I have ever seen.Their website alone will make Bill’s film a cult classic to be played forever and ever… Can’t wait to see it tomorrow.
you guys are so unbelievably ignorant, I am happy that you give us such a laugh
That’s pure comedy gold. You guys should have you’re own TV show on Comedy central.
Jebus bless Bill Maher, and this website. I seriously want to be seven inchs deep in bill and his two guys on the couch.
Whatever marketing party you guys where at, and whatever hash you were smoking there…please, please, sent me the invite to the next one!!! I love it!!!
BTW: Check out these people. They are what this site is depicting, only these people are serious about it. http://www.tfp.org
Bill: I soo hope you included them in your movie, Ill find out this afternoon I guess. If not, please tear these A$$h*le$ a new one on your show. The world needs to know that fucks like this really do exhist. Im all for free speach, but these A$$ clowns take it WAY to far.
Love the Satir. Keep it up. After Baracks 8 years are up, please run for president, or at least vp. And damnit, Love your support of Norml. Keep up the good work my brotha.
You guys are geniuses. I watched 5 minutes of your “commentary” on religulous before I figured out what was going on. Priceless.
the article itself is hilarious, but the comments of people who actually believe it’s real put the icing on the cake! it is definitive proof that many people will believe anything!
i’m with “rational,” a show on comedy central or adult swim is in order.
keep up the great work guys…you have a new fan!!!
Awesome. hey dont forget that jesus was a carpenter, and carpenters work with hammers and mostly men are carpenters….get it hammer, men, hammer men. an implied gay sex reference in the bible
You guys have to think deeper
I hope you all get shot in the face you racist brainwashed christian filth. There is no god. You were raised on lies. What you call a moral is common scense to athiests. Athiests aren’t evil, we just decided not to follow blindly to that storytale horseshit.
I will still say this stuff is so funny! You’ve nailed every single stereotype of the things people loath about certain fundamentalists!! keep up the good work! You guys are hillarious. I nearly pee myself when I read this stuff.