We have it from a very reliable source, that the Prince of Darkness, the Master of Evil, the Pain Dealer, The Soul Scrambler……The “Devil”…..Is dead!
What a glorious day!!!! God has finally WON!!!
Or has he?
The death of the Devil, albeit a fantastic victory for God and his followers, is only a temporary fix on a problem that will last for eternity. Unfortunately for God, he didn’t really plan ahead when he created “good and evil”. See you can’t have one without the other. There would be no such thing as “good” if there wasn’t evil around, to make “good”, look….Well, good.
You have to have perspective.
I could eat a bowl of double choco-minty-dream-swirl and enjoy it a lot. Another person could have the same ice cream, and find it repulsive. Is that person evil for not finding the ice cream tasty? Am i evil for for getting mad at the person, for not enjoying the ice cream like i did? Is the ice cream evil for not allowing both myself and the other person to enjoy it equally?
If only “good” existed, we would all agree, all the time. This might seem like a perfect system, but it’s not. See the person who didn’t enjoy the ice cream, might have been inspired after puking it up, to go make an ice cream that they would enjoy. They might have shared this new ice cream with friends and family, and based on the warm response, might have even opened up a little ice cream stand in their town. After a few months of the word spreading, that a new ice cream vendor in town has created an amazing new flavor of ice cream, the vendor may have decided to open a franchise. Maybe even market the new ice cream flavor worldwide. After a few years, the guy would amass great wealth from his ice cream company, and donate millions to God, through donations to Gods Church. All of this inspired by a bad experience with an ice cream flavor.
Now, is that evil? No, it’s not. So, we can never “not” have evil. We need evil to inspire us to keep fighting. But this is a battle we can never win (nor would we want to).
Back to the death of the Devil.
Although old Satan is gone for “good”, we Christians will not survive without him. We need to use the threat of him, to inspire Christians to always be “good”. The second you stop being good, you will allow Satan to take you over and use you as a weapon against other Christians.
We need a new Satan!!!
I implore all of you to pray on this matter right away. Let’s put together a great pitch and send it up to God. Let’s make this new Satan even more destructive and more powerful than the last one. Let’s give him new horrifying features, to scare children into the hands of God, so God can protect them from his creation.
Help us get God to create a new Satan for a new era!
He should be part robot and he should also be able to time travel. This will inspire us to figure out time travel ourselves, so we can go all the way back, 6,000 years ago, and wrangle up some dinosaurs. We’ll need these dinosaurs to help fight New Satan! We can train these dinosaurs and give them mechanical new limbs, which will be stronger then their regular bone infused limbs. We’ll train them to problem solve, to strategize new ways of fighting New Satan. This new Devil will bring us Christians even closer together. Maybe we’ll abandon our sects, our denominations, that tear us apart for no reason. We’ll form one united Church, who’s sole objective is to train future dinosaurs to battle New Robot Satan of the Future!!!!
Now that’s a bowl of ice cream we can all enjoy!!!…..Tim
who is pastor rick it sounds like youve been brain washed
dude God is all knowing he is everywhere when he made heaven and the earth he knew what was going to happen if you say im wrong then your saying gods wrong because im speaking straight from the bible
ABSOLUTLY AMAZING!
ROTFL!!!!
who paid you guys????
this is HILARIOUS!!!!!
thanks for the laugh, i need to go tell my friends now!!!
u made my day
btw im Wiccan
Who trys something, like your rhetorical ice cream, goes “yuck, that’s horrible, I’m inspired to make some of that?”
damn
I watched your vid about the boycott of religulous.
At first I thought you guys were serious and even at the end I still wasn’t totaly convinced you guys were’nt just the dumbest people on the planet.
But now I can rest easy. Kudos guys on the hilarious sattire.
Your plan is exciting and inspiring! But beware of time travel, I warn you. If you make something different back then (like take a dinosaur), then something in our present world will be altered — and maybe not for the better!
I’ve seen this in movies. You do one little things, all of a sudden, back in the real world, you’re suddenly a snack-bar server in a bowling alley in Cleveland married to an ex-hooker with a pair of conjoined twins, plus your bald, instead of your real life. I can’t follow how this works, but I think it does.
Can the idea of the dinos; create the robot Satan, and let the chips fall where they may.
Thank You Lord Jesus!!!!Now that Satan is dead, I can await the rapture. I plan on Duct Tapping myself to my favorite recliner so that I may take it with me up in to heaven…
[Unfortunately for God, he didn’t really plan ahead when he created “good and evil”.]
That’s as far as I got before my brain caught fire.
Satan is not dead, he was cast to earth out of heaven and rules the satanic system that is the earth. Jesus has claimed victory over Satan by paying the blood sacrafice God required for man falling into Satans lies and thus being sinners. Victory is ours for those who have repented and followed Jesus. Satan will be defeated and chained in hell on judgment day forever, never getting out and in screaming agony FOREVER. We will not see him going through this as Christians, we will be in the mansions Jesus says he has prepared for us in the Bible with other Christians living free from any sin at all, totally free from it.
You said: “Unfortunately for God, he didn’t really plan ahead when he created “good and evil”. ”
Really? Yahweh? The Alpha and Omega who is from everlasting to everlasting? The only omniscient being who knows what was and is and will be? This is the God you are saying did not plan ahead?
Maybe it’s as His holy word says and he gave all of His creation a choice to love Him or reject Him.
I would think someone who has read the Bible over 4,000 times would know this. (Nice humility on this by trying to get it registered as a Guinness Record, by the way.)
I think someone else has it right. You guys are a plant to bring more attention to Bill Maher’s movie and more discredit upon Christians as raving lunatics. I must admit, you’re doing a marvelous job. A lot of people are buying it. I’m not.
If God is all powerful, he could kill satan any day. Too bad he doesn’t exist.
I disagree with your idea of praying for a part robot satan… I just wrote an assignment on obesity and am very concerned for our fatty children You see, if we pray for robot satan and succeed in retrieving the dinosaurs, some children will not be able to escape the wrath of satan, who will no doubt be quick, (as all dark-skins are), and they may be harmed or even raped! Let alone, god forbid, satan converts the dinosaurs to his cause! and also kids riding dinosaurs aren’t getting any exercise. No, like primeminister bush said, ‘i believe what i believe is right!’ I believe that if we make satan part dinosaur, then we can move back to a more primitive way of life, like in the jesus times, and there weren’t any obese people in the bible! Running from satanorex and his raptor demons or “raptons” as they shall be called with cause less fat by exercise.
God Bless
Fillmewiththejeebus
you are truly a fat blasting revolutionary!!
Holy shit robosatan would be beast! I’ll kill him tho.
The tide must certainly be turning in favor of rationality and away from the religion of global warming. It’s starting to become fashionable to question its tenets. Harry McGee writes in ther Irish Times: A new Irish film claims that
I would recommend you guys step back and ask yourself why you believe what you believe. Personally, I care that what I believe in is true. Provide for atheists like myself solid, empirical evidence that god exists and then maybe I will listen to the rest of what you have to say. Also, I would recommend that you talk to atheists like Matt Dillahunty of the ACA and the program the Atheist Experience. Remember, you need to provide some kind of solid evidence that god exists before atheists will take you seriously.
you know the comments are almost as good as what you right…
this is my new favorite site.
Of Course, ALL of the WORLDS GOVERNMENT LEADERS ARE ALL RELATIVE OF THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND, WHETHER ANYONE KNOW THIS OR NOT, IS NONETHELESS ENTIRELY TRUE. AND THEY ARE ALL IN ON THE CONSPIRACY; IT IS NOT JUST THE UNITED STATES WHO IS TO BE ACCUSED OF EVIL HERE.
similarly, this “Antichrist” person is said to ALSO not know who they are until the dau arrives and may no even realize that they are also Evil. Meaning: It could be you, me or anyone. But i doubt this “Great” Evil One is an Illuminated Soul, Of Course…I Could Also Be Wrong, but i sincerely doubt it. It is just an FALSE Allegation, an Evil ruse perpetrated against us in order to conceal the identitys of the real adversaries of Jesus and ALL people in the world.Apparently, ALL The United States President are Literal Realtions to the Queen of England (including ALL the Black U.S. President throughout History)so it does not matter what anyone believes about the U.S., because ALL other world Leaders are relating to the Queen of England too and there are ALL very much a part of the conspiracy.
All Religions Are ONLY Partly Correct, and were perverted intentionally as a effort to Inspire Social Unrest, Intolerance, hatred, Bigotry and Violence and finally to Motivate Wars. All wars are inspired based on some sort of lie, just from the purpose of creating Wars, thereby Irradicating (Decreasing) the Multitudes around the world.
Oh, and while i am not an Expert on Masonry and the mindset of GOD, i also sincerenly doubt that the “SunGod” as eluded in the Bible is Actually really Satan. i thing this is just another act of Misinformation…a downright malicious Lie, intended to further decieve ALL of humanity.