Come down from the mountains and out from the caves, the Rapture Right is here to announce…………….
WE TOOK FIRST PLACE AT THIS YEARS CHRISTIAN NATIONALS!!
It’s a surprise, we trained for months and fasted for ten days prior to comp, but nonetheless it feels magical!
To know that we are recognized as the nations Greatest Christians, really fills us with joy. Because we know that we are going to inspire so many young Christians out there, who may be working hard to become the Greatest Christians, but are still falling short over and over again. Hopefully they can look up at us and become inspired to work even harder and to fast even longer, the power is in all of them (we have just tapped in and harnessed it).
But Rapture Right, aren’t you already the Worlds Greatest Christians? How does this National win change anything?
Great questions, here’s how the world league competition differs from the national league..
Durning the world league Comp, Christian challengers from across our great globe, come together to compete in 7 Christian “mini-battles” for title of Worlds Greatest Christians.
These “mini-battles” are made up of each representative nations most difficult Christian challenges. Since the World league only recognizes 7 nations as true Christian nations, there are only 7 “mini-battles”.
Our National League comp, brings together competitors from every state here in the U.S.
Each of those challengers, submits their states most difficult Christian challenge, and then each group must compete in each of those challenges. So whereas the World challenge is 7 “mini’battles”, the National League comp is 49 “mini-battles” (Vermont is not recognized as a state due to it’s extreme left leaning political views). 49 “mini-battles” are a lot more difficult than 7, so really the National Comp is a lot more challenging than the world comp.
We are just stoked we made it through each challenge and each “mini-battle”. As some of you may know, Trevor, a few years back, suffered a very serious affliction, some say the most serious mental disease affecting people today. He had “Food Addiction Temptation Trouble Yearning” or F.A.T.T.Y.
Trevors drug food of choice was Cinnabuns. He had been sober for over a year, but a few weeks before comp, he relapsed. They aren’t just selling Cinnabuns at the mall through their retail stores anymore, now you can get them just about anywhere. This made a day running errands, an unbearable ordeal for young Trevor.
Well, the Lord helped me and Pastor Rick sober him up once again. We gave him a back pack full of wetnaps, to help cleanse his skin of that gooey sticky sin, and we fasted ten days to clear out any Cinnabun residue still in Trevors body (i fasted with him so he wouldn’t feel alone, brothers ya know).
Everyone, please send your love to Trevor, he fought satan once again and then won our nations most prestigious award, the National Greatest Christian Cross of Braveryhood.
I’ll let Trevor set down some of his own thoughts now, he’s also going to list all 49 challenges and which state it comes from…
YEAH FOR THE RAPTURE RIGHT (again)!!!
GOD DOESNT PLAY FAVORITES YOU NUMSKULL!!!
The concept of original sin refers to the fallen state of man, the origins of which can be found in the book of Genesis where Adam and Eve eat from the tree of knowledge and are banned from Paradise for all time (I guess ignorance really is bliss!). Original sin means that from your first moment in life, before you are even cut from your mother, you are sinful, the implication of which is that your very existence is a transgression against God. So we have that one out of the way. Let’s move on.
Say we remove original sin just for the purposes of this argument because, let’s face it, so little discussion on this topic is kind of boring. So say that hypothetically, we are born clean. Can we now proceed without sin? Well, let’s just see how many things are sinful as described in the bible: transgression, unrighteousness, omission of know duty, faithlessness & foolishness of thinking all constitute as sin in the bible. Wow! That is quite the list! That means that the first time you disobey your parents, question your faith, argue with your sister, fail to clean your room, or say something dumb (words like ‘poo’ and ‘caca’ and ‘butt’ come to mind) you have fallen off the sin wagon. And that’s not all! All sorts of little misdeeds are sins!
“Whosoever comiteth sin transgression also the law: for is the transgression of the law”1 John, 3:4This means anytime you break a law that is not in direct conflict with the laws laid down in the bible you have sinned.
Ever see rubbish on the ground that someone else has left and not pick it up?:”Therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth not, to him it is a sin”James, 4:17
ever openly or even discreetly dislike someone? Sin. Ever disagree with your parents? Sin. Ever eat too much at the buffet? Sin
GOD!!!! (no pun intended
You people are fucking MORONS!!! The fact that you take these articles seriously shows how ignorant and unintelligent you are.