A FEW FLIPPER BABIES

I read a news report today in the news, and on a side note, never read the news, Trev and i try to stay away from it because it is negative and never talks about God. Anyway, i just happen to get a pop-up while cruising Christian singles websites (By the way Christian ladies, i’m looking for a mate and house companion, email me when you’re interested, cause you will be) and one of the pop-ups is for a news outlet. I don’t want to say which one, but this one Commits Blasphemous Sins in every one of thier news casts.

Sorry, i should just get to the point, i can’t stay focused, i think it’s because the Christian fair just came to our town and they have a new ride this year that i can’t wait to ride!! It’s called the “BLASTISM” and all i know is that theres a bunch of tubes, a roller coaster cart, water and salvation! YIPPEE for the FAIR!

Ok ok, the news report. So, it seems that china (asians without cool shoes) is polluting thier country so badly and so quickly, that they are actually losing 64 billion dollars a year, because of the negative effects of the pollution. Most of this pollution, comes from the factories that make all the cheap clothes and shoes and crap, that we buy up by the truck loads here in America.

Now, we at the Rapture Right don’t care too much about what happens to china, they can kill themselves off with cancer water and keep birthing deformed babies with webbed toes, who really cares? They don’t believe in my God, so let em burn!!

But, if they all start dying off or if thier lands become uninhabitable because of the extreme toxic environment, where are WE going to get our cheap disposable goods?

We are Americans and we are Christians!! We deserve to be able to throw away plastic bags by the millions (have you ever watched one caught in a wind swirl, it’s beautiful) and buy our underwear for a dollar (the closest i’ll let my privates get to an asians filthy hands). If it wasn’t for Walmart and Target and 90 percent of the retail stores in this country, selling me cheap plastic throw aways, where else would i get em? Mom and pop shops? Please, if there is one thing we know about mom and pop, it’s that they’re old, and old people are itching to see God and the last thing they care about is giving you decent service, when you pay them good money to detail your H3, and they forget to wax the roof rack, so you tell them “The roof rack is the first thing God see’s when he looks down at us, make it sparkle!!” and they say “that’s nonsense” and you say “well then so is a tip” and you drop them off, back at the old folks home purposefully parking on the wrong side of the building, so they have to wobble thier brittle bones an extra 100 yards before they can be spoon fed tonights special!! It’s cole slaw and meat loaf, in case you care (i don’t).

So, mom and pop shops aren’t an option, nothing is made in America anymore (check your shoes, i dare you) and these china men are killing themselves by polluting everything. What can we do?

Please everyone, pray on this right now, let us know what God tells you, let’s pool our answers together and try to solve this emergency…..rr